"That is how you play Shane Warne." I think to myself as I stand on the platform waiting for the Tram.

I have committed every commuter's nightmare. I was expecting rain and have my umbrella. I leave the house to find that it's actually quite pleasant and there is no one else with an umbrella. So I am stood there, standing out like a sore thumb. You see, I had watched the weather on the BBC and they said it was going to rain. The BBC are the most trustworthy people in the country, after the Government, and if they can get it wrong - who can I trust? My entire belief system would be shaken to its roots if the BBC could get a forecast wrong.

To try and hide my embarrassment, I have to find a use for my umbrella. I decide against using it as a leaning post. I reject the idea of practicing my military marching skills and "presenting arms" with it. I am worried that I would blind someone if I used it as a Majorette's twirling stick. Maybe I could do some Kendo but that would require the umbrella to be much larger.

So I use it as a cricket bat. I dance down an imaginary wicket and play a forward defensive shot to a ball pitching just outside off stump. I move my feet to the next delivery and push it wide of mid off for a single. "You can't get stuck on the crease" I think, wishing I could tell that to Ian Bell. "And if its outside leg stump, I'll have nothing to do with it.", I say as I raise my bat above my head and let the imaginary ball hit my imaginary pads.

Michael Vaughn, you know where I am. I am available for the next test, apart from the Saturday when I was planning on going to B&Q and the tip. And I normally have a bit of a lie in on a Sunday - I could get there for about 12. I'm sure we can work something out.