"MB its Barney, the big purple dinosaur and your ex-landlord." Which I knew already because his name had displayed on my mobile phone. But I guess he thought he should check just in case I couldn't read. "I have a favour to ask. I am trying to get the apartment advertised as soon as possible and the estate agent wants to come round and see the property. Can you possibly arrange with her to let her in? She can only do weekdays between 9 and 5, so are you ok to take some time off?"

I politely explained that I didn't really think I should take a day off to show someone round a flat I wasn't living in anymore. I had to be polite since he still has my security deposit, which Landlords seem to view as a donation a tenant makes, tax free, to their retirement fund. I can already envisage his call on Monday. Something about finding some dust on the banister so he had to employ a cleaner for an hour and that used up all my deposit.

But thankfully he understands.

"And I don't think I can buy the fridge off you. I just found out that I have to do an electrical safety test on it, fill some forms, pay for a certificate and add it to the insurance which will send my premium through the roof. All this paperwork and regulations - its political correctness gone mad."

I agreed wholeheartedly.
If he wants to electrocute his tenants and have them burn to death he should be free to do so.
I really want my deposit back.