I am on strike!!!

I have never actually been on strike before and, since I am not part of Local Government, my strike today is unofficial. It is a Wildcat Strike!!! My aim is to cause maximum destruction disruption to your normal working day. In fact I have decided as an act of defiance against "The Man" and to show support to my Brothers and Sisters in Local Authorities, I will withhold all of the funny jokes that were going to be in today's post. I will also do as little work as possible - although how that differs from a normal day I have yet to find out.

There's nothing like a good old strike because if nothing else comes from it, strikes upset Daily Mail readers. "I can't believe that my Child's education is being put in jeapordy because of teachers' selfishness." they wail. I remember back when I was a child and how if a teacher was sick or missed a lesson so they could go shoe shopping, I forgot absolutely everything I had ever learned. My English teacher was the worstest for that, he'd be off once a week atleast. And my grammar and ability to right propar and correct English hasnot sufered muchly.

Although not everyone agrees that Strikes are good and it is only right, proper and fair that I represent both sides of the argument here as I want my Internet Weblog to be as politically neutral as The BBC, tea at my Aunt and Uncle's and The Guardian. "Bloody Strike! I wish I was at work." said one close friend and local authority employee. "The wife went to Ikea on the weekend because she knew I had today off. So I've got to stay home and build a Billy Bookcase. She doesn't understand that being on strike means I don't do anything. Do flat pack furniture assemblers have a union?"

Since my gym is run by the local authority, I am very worried about the ethical dillema of working out. I do want to work out so I can keep my "brad pitt in fight club" body but I will NOT cross a picket line if there is one. Doing this would be a kick in the teeth to me fellow union members as they try and make a stand. I intend to stand shoulder to shoulder with any protesters.

I enter the sports centre with little trouble. I use a fire door round the back that is always open so as to avoid any unsavourary scenes and any unnecessary moral soul searching.

As I am running on the treadmill, I notice that there are no Gym Instructors. They are either on strike or out the back having a fag. I look up. I realise that the TV in front of me is on ITV, which means I have to watch "The all new exactly like the old one Paul O'Grady show" and "Granada Tonight". If only there was someone here to change it to Channel 4 and "Richard and Judy" and "The Simpsons". Thanks to this I think I have missed "Lady Bouvier's Lover", which is one of my favourite episodes.

After watching two Essex boys clad in Spandex set the new world record for number of leap-frogs in a minute, I decide that strikes are only good until they affect you personally.