So where are you now? What can you see? A BMW dealer? That doesn’t sound right. Can you get back on to “The Busy Road”? Ok Ok calm down. Of course - since you don’t know where you are you can’t get back on a road you don’t know. Just keep heading straight.

OK so what do you see now? Some traffic lights and a Shell Garage. Ah ha! I know where you are. Take a left at the lights, carry on through the Pelican Crossing and take the next right. What do you see now? An ASDA? No you’re not where I thought you were – how many Shell garage’s can there be?

Right do a U-Turn and head back towards where you came from. Head towards those traffic lights you said you saw on the left. Was there a travel agent by the ASDA? You don’t remember – that’s ok. Don’t go back and check. No really don’t. What is at these traffic lights? An HSBC and an Oxfam? Ok Gotcha! Take a right and then you should see a large billboard saying “It’s more fun with three”. Now the shortest route is to go left but there are some speed bumps down there. You should see a no entry sign - carry straight on.

Can you see how the road bends round to the right? The one that says Town Centre? Can you see it? It’s a filter lane. Well don’t take that. You have. Ok. Well you should see three left hand turns. Don’t take the first one. Take the second one. If you take the first one you’ll end up in the Dance Studio.

WOAH! HANG ON! You’ll be passing Scott’s that way won’t you? Big white caravan parked on the side of the road by the Industrial Estate sign. You see it. Right park up on that bit of grass, you’re only a few minutes away. I’ll have a large bacon and sausage barm with ketchup. Tell him its for me and he'll do extra bacon for nowt.

Now get back in the car and take a right at the end of the road. You should see a big open field on the right. No the other right. Those are vets, dentists and solicitors. You should see a yellow AA sign showing you where it is. It’s a sharp turn be careful.

It’s on the floor?!?!?!?!
Don’t suppose you could find your way back and get me another could you?