I am a very clever person. I think I can say that without fear of contradiction. Now I'm not saying this because I'm big headed. (I am big headed but that isn't the reason I can say this)

My cleverness is documented. I have the bits of paper to prove it. I got an "A" at A-Level Physics, which is harder to come by than a Scouser who knows who his father is. I even have a degree, so I should really known as MB BA Hons. And its in a proper subject! I have also had a letter published in Guardian and you don't get more intellectual than that. I also have life skills. I can wire a plug, bleed radiators and use a drill. Most of the time I get all but a few answers in the Quick Crossword. I even have Girl-skills, like being able to cook and iron.

But I can't do Sudoku.

My vision of Hell is having Carol Vorderman stood over me with a stern look on her face as I try and complete an "Easy" Sudoku puzzle. I look at it and just see random numbers placed in random places with no meaning and purpose. I know how to do it, I just can't do it. I can start by doing the little pencil mark thingys but after about a minute I get stuck and give up.

Of course this was made even more frustrating when I was sitting next to someone on the tram yesterday who was doing a puzzle. Now I'm not into social profiling but he looked "common" - he had a yellow Hi-Vis Builders jacket on, a skin head and he didn't look like he'd ever moisturised his hands. Sure enough he was filling in a Sudoku puzzle. And actually putting numbers down! In ink!!

Although, I don't actually have any idea if he was completing the puzzle correctly. For all I know, he could have just been writing the numbers that "The Voices" were telling him to write. He may well have pulled the female fashion disaster, wearing the fluffy leopard skin coat and white muppet fur scarf, who was sitting in front of him and be writing down her phone number.

I come to the conclusion that he must have been writing his PIN number down for "safe keeping".

(NB: When I say I am clever, I am ignoring my inability to spell words correctly and the fact that I can't punctuate like Mrs "Eat Shoots and Leaves")