Waiting TimesI enjoy going to the gym and spend a lot of time there. For a while, after I started, I like to think I was known as "The quiet guy" or "Y'know that guy who looks like Peter Crouch" before I got my new bluetooth headphones and then I was known, cleverly, as "The guy with the headphones that blink.".
The dumbells I am lifting are very heavy. In real terms they equate to about 2/3rds of Victoria Beckham. I fire off the first reps five fantastically and frantically. The weighs feel a lot heavier today.
Six!
Push!
Seven!
Push!
Eight!
Ok Stop!
Hammertime!
Nine!
Ten!
I try to bring the weights down slowly and my right arm turns to jelly. I drop the dumbell in my right arm. In dropping it, my right arm falls to the floor and my left hand side is suddenly heavier, and higher, than my right side. My body spins about it's axis like I was being spit roasted. My body turns and rotates off the bench and I end up face down on the floor.
I lay there not sure how to react. I have three options.
- While lying there, I notice that I picked up one dumbell that weighed 1/3rd a Beckham and one that weighed 1/3rd + 1/8th of a Beckham. So I was overloaded on one side. So one option is to explain this to everyone what I had done using the tannoy - they'd understand.
- I could fake injury. I could grab my shoulder and yelp in pain. But I know what would follow - I would have to fill out Accident forms, they wouldn't let me carry on working out.
- So to save myself from the moutain of paperwork I chose option three. I get up, brush my shoulder off and pretend nothing happened.
And then I realise that from now on I will be known as "The guy who fell off the bench". I need to do something drastic. Time to dye my hair red!!!
Post Script:
According to Mehmood at work my hair looks "Superb" and, like Kryten, he can't lie (We tried to get him to call a computer mouse - "An Antelope" and he couldn't) so you can take that as gospel. Or Koran.
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