I toss and turn in the heat. As always I am faced with a tough decision - should I put up with the heat and sleep in peace or should I open the windows and be forced to listen to all my neighbours coming in, off their faces at various times between now and 05:00. Which nicely co-incides with when the trucks begin driving up the Busy Road.

After five minutes of considering this I realize I am suffering from insomnia. I try everything I know to cure myself. I lie on my back, placing my hands on my stomach and think about going to sleep. I cross my right ankle over my left. I cross my left ankle over my right. I roll on to my left side, bend my knees towards my chest and hug the duvet I'm lying on. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to convince them to sleep. I straighten my right leg. I roll on to my right side, tuck my knees up and hug the duvet. I use reverse psychology on my brain and try my hardest to stay awake.

Five minutes later, I decide that I am not going to sleep and like any good insomniac, I decide to use this extra time I have been blessed with to get some of my worrying out of the way. I have lots of things in my head which require worrying about. And doing it now will free up vital time tomorrow for important things like more worrying or thinking about sex. Or worrying about sex.

"I'd start with box #1 and just work through them all in order." I think to myself. "Once the banker offered more than £20,000 I'd take the deal but if there was any life changing money up there, then it would be very difficult to stop at £20,000. I think I'd need all four of the BIG ONES left to stay in the game. And when I finally decided to deal, I'd whoop and holler like I was in the audience of Trisha."

Once the important worrying is out of the way, I move on to thinking about Iraq. I drift off to sleep.

The next thing I remember is hearing someone slamming their car door right outside my window. I awake with a start.

"Noel, I'm ready for the question!"