Crime!!!

Real life crime!!!

I am walking home from the gym and there it is. Two police officers stood in the door way of a house which looks like it has had a brick thrown through the window. They stand in the official police officer stance which involves putting both hands on the neck of their vests, presumably to make sure that the vests do not float away.

They are carrying a menagerie of tools and equipment on their utility belts. I am tempted to ask for some bat-anti-mummification tablets just in case King Tut the mad professor from the Egyptian museum tries to kidnap me.

The Police officers are doing a very good job of guarding the house. They have used at least 2 miles of yellow police tape to mark off the houses front yard so no one can get anywhere near the window. I am glad to see my tax money being well spent.

They stand by the open door. I try and look in so I can get an idea of what has gone on. Purely from a concerned local resident point of view and not from a busy-body gossip point of view. The Policeman on the left notices this and slowly reaches for his radio and tilts his head towards it. I put my head down and scurry on.

I can't believe am now living in a high crime area!

There was fare dodging, bricks through windows and someone keeps ripping the "Work at Manchester United" adverts off the windows of trams and depositing them in the bins on the Metrolink stations.

And speaking of crimes - who decided that "City Shorts" were acceptable fashion garments? Wearing trousers that only come up to your knees does not make you look like Sienna Miller - it does make you look like someone who bought the wrong size of trousers though. Mango, Next, River Island and the rest - I hold you guilty of mass fashion genocide.

When I take a moment to think about all this I shake my head in Daily-Mail-disgust. Something needs to be done about this before it escalates to more serious crimes like affray and drinking in the street.

And I know the man to do it!