We go to watch X-Men 3: The Last Stand. More to the point, I go to watch X-Men and My Canadian Girlfriend goes to watch Hugh Jackman take his shirt off. Overall, the movie scored Tomato on MB's Fruit Movie Rating Scale. (Yes, Tomato is a fruit!) It would've scored Lychee if it weren't for Fraiser's growling.

The movie itself offers a series of ethical and moral dilemmas which Wittgenstein himself would've been proud of. Should we be striving towards a culture which is so homogeneous that everyone fits in? A world where everyone walks around eating McDonald's, drinking Pepsi and wearing Nike? Or should we find a way of celebrating people's differences and embrace those of us who prefer Adidas?

I'm not sure I'd take a cure if I was in that position - I think I'd like being different. But as a middle class, Guardian reading, white, male aged 20-45 - I am not really in a position to talk about being discriminated against and standing out from the crowd.

But all this deep philosophical thinking is swept to one side once Halle Berry goes all Albino and puts in her white contacts and Hugh Jackman loses his shirt.

Vinne Jones puts in a turn as Arch Duke Ferdinand of the Spanish Inquisition, which I for one wasn't expecting. Fortunately for Vinnie, he is playing the Arch Duke playing Vinnie Jones - so he is not too stretched. While, Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian Mckellen show that they have more acting talent in their little fingers than the rest of the cast put together.

At one point "Angel", one of the 'new' X-Men, stands up and unveils his wings. He is shirtless - which is a running theme throughout the film. My Canadian Girlfriend leans over as if to whisper something. I preempt what she's going to say.

"No I don't - he's much bigger than me. His shoulders and biceps are larger but he barely has any of his 6-pack showing." She looks shocked that I had correctly guessed what she was going to say.

As we walk out of the movie, I begin to consider which X-Men power I would like. Being able to read minds would be cool as would being able to control the weather. I could've commanded two days of rain at Trent Bridge and single handedly saved the Third Test.

A Toothpick Blonde appears from behind one of those metal things that hold the velvet rope in place. She slinks over in her all white Promo-Girl outfit. "Hiya," she says flashing her bright white teeth, "Would you like to come over and review the film you've just seen in the '3' movie review booth." She bats her eyelids.

"No he wouldn't!" my Canadian Girlfriend growls. I feel her vice like grip tighten on 'The Twins' and I suddenly realise what X-Men power she has.