"Why don't you put the telly on, I won't be long." I say to my Canadian girlfriend across the living room. She wants me to go over to the sofa so we can talk about shopping, feelings, intimacy and other girly stuff. "I'm just want another couple of games of Blast Billiards. But don't forget that the remote's knackered."

She sits on the floor in front of the TV. Two minutes pass.

"Does it normally make a fizz-ing noise?" she asks. "And does the screen normally go black?"

"Yeah sometimes, it's been doing that for a couple of years - some problem with the Freeview box Turn it off and back on again." I say using my best 'IT help desk' voice.

One minute passes.

"It doesn't want to turn back on." she whispers. I'm pretty sure that she is just suffering from female-inability-to-work-technology-itis. I pull myself from the computer and look over. "Does it normally have smoke coming out of the back of it? And does it normally smell of burning?" she adds.

"Only when it explodes." I reply.

Having a TV that has exploded does not phase me as much as it would with some people. Firstly, I have been looking for any excuse to buy a brand new LCD TV. Although, I was hoping to wait until my Birthday so I didn't have to pay for it (or all of it). Now, I could get one for the World Cup and see England crash out spectacularly in perfect crystal clear LCD technology. In fact even before the smoke has abated, I am looking in the Argos catalogue for a replacement.

And the second reason I am not worried is that I don't actually watch much telly. I'm at home for about two and a half hours a day * : I spend half an hour eating, half an hour tidying and packing my work bag, 59 minutes and 59 seconds on the phone to my Canadian Girlfriend ** and the other half hour surfing internet and reading blogs and stuff ***. This severely restricts my TV watching time.

So, once the World Cup is over, it boils down to only owning a TV so I can watch "My Name is Earl", which will have finished and won't be back on until the new year. And once you have factored in all the associated and unavoidable costs - I would have to get a DVD recorder and a Freeview Box - you're talking about the best part of thousand notes.

What to do?

If I do decide not to get a TV, I'll still get a TV license though. For no other reason than to keep them off my back. £150 is worth it if it means not getting a letter in a red envelope every two days saying "The Man" is absolutely going to visit me tomorrow, or at some point soon - y'know when we can be bothered.

"Are you mad at me?" she asks.

I thank her. Whatever I decide this is a blessing in disguise.

* This does not include mornings or time spent asleep in bed. Although if anyone knows a way I can watch TV while asleep - let me know.
** I am on a BT plan that allows free calls under one hour.
*** Since the Evil Overlord has installed new web filtering software at work, I am unable to do this during work and therefore am forced to do it ON MY OWN TIME!.