Strange smells on trams stops are not unusual. Firstly, the personal hygiene of public transport users leaves a lot to be desired and secondly, it seems like tram stops are the place of choice for builders to smoke dope.

But this smell is something different. I gradually wander around the platform trying to pin point it whilst pretending to text on my phone so as to keep my real purpose under wraps. And then I notice some burning coals on the other side of the track. I would act surprised as this is not normal but nothing surprises me anymore.

So I get on the tram and it travels one stop and there is a commotion. And there's that smell again. And all of a sudden clouds of black smoke. The driver leaves his cab and sticks his head out of the door. He returns to his microphone and announces "Could everyone move to the front unit for health and safety reasons!"

We are on fire. I think that qualifies as a health and safety reason.

As everyone piles on to the front unit, the driver is supervising. Then some smart alec points out that the smoke is actually coming from the front unit. So we all have to get off that one. And just as we get off that one, my phone rings.

The driver returns to the depot and leaves us stranded on the station in the middle of nowhere. I answer my phone.

"Hi it's your dad here. I'm just driving by your work - fancy a lift home?"

So I rejoice in the miracle of timing and wait for my dad outside the station.

"Thanks a lot for this dad, that was real lucky. Hey what happened to the back of the wing mirror?"

"Well a few weeks ago, about thirty or forty cars were done over by vandals on the other side of our suburb - they were smashing windows and breaking lights. And then last week I noticed some other cars were vandalised just round the corner. So I decided to park it down the drive."

"What!! They came down the drive and vandalised it???"

"Not exactly, As I was backing it down the drive, I clipped the bin with the wing mirror and the back fell off. It is so tight, I couldn't open the door so I thought I'd get it later. And then as I continued on backing the car down - I ran over it."