It is not easy being a metrosexual. It's not all wearing pink shirts, knowing the calorie count of a Chicken, Tomato and Basil salad, moisturising, accessorising and buying cushions. Occasionally it's hard work. Gone are the "Men Behaving Badly" days when not doing the washing up could be the centre piece to thirty minutes of comedy. Us metrosexual men now have standards.

I ponder how things have changed as I choose the Orange Mr Muscle to clean the toilet.

Later on, I begin to wonder... When does a toilet become dirty? As soon as I have finished rubbing my toilet with a cloth - it is clean. So does it become dirty once it has been used once? It doesn't take a genius to know that as soon as you can see stains on the bowl - it is dirty. But is there an in betwee stage where it can officially be called dirty? Surely this is something the EU should issue a directive on.

That Toilet Duck documentary has shown us that there are Little Green Aliens living under the rim of my toilet and that cleaning kills them. But if I have cultivated a life-form under my toilet rim, then surely I should be getting a Nobel prize rather than killing the little bastards with a blue liquid.

I cogitate further. But so what if the toilet version of Al Qaeda is living under the rim? Does it matter if my toilet has germs in it? I can categorically state now, and I don't think I will shock anyone with this, that I do not wipe my bagel under the toilet rim before I eat it. And since none of my body actually comes into contact with the toilet bowl, it could be filled with Sulfuric Acid as far as I'm concerned.

So if it becomes dirty after one use and I don't care about the germs under the rim. Is there any point cleaning it at all?

Ah, that was a very intellectual "thought experiment", which helped pass a couple of minutes....

Let me grab some paper and then flush.