Manchester (Reuters):- The Tuesday Lunchtime Project are proud to announce that it has secured the rights to publish "Me, Me, Me" the widely read and highly acclaimed internet diary of MB.

MB started writing on the Internet as a way of filling that hour and a half between getting into work and actually starting work. This marked his return to writing in 2005 after a long hiatus since finishing his GCSE English Language Exam.

The on-line diary has earnt respect throughout the media by tackling important subjects like drinking coffee at Starbucks, wacky neighbours who leave notes on cars, styling hair and doing a poo. He was also the first blogger to give a voice to an out of work Dwarf.

"Woo Hoo!!! I've got a book deal!!!" said MB reacting to the news. "This makes up for only having half a dozen readers. In your face everyone else. Where's your book deal?!?!?" he continued in a humble manner.

Stevie Akbar, head of Panic Signings at the Tuesday Lunchtime Project said "We are very lucky to have signed one of the blogosphere's major talents. This is not a knee-jerk reaction to the fact that all the other major book labels are releasing books from bloggers and we were desperate to sign anyone. We have paid him and initial £14million which will rise to 18.6 providing his book wins the Champions League. He will wear the number 16 shirt. What? Stop looking at me like that. No I don't have shifty eyes."

The 4 page pamphlet entitled "Me, Me, Me and a bit about you" will be available from the middle of August, providing the photocopier doesn't break down. We can now confirm that the book will be widely available throughout the country. Copies can be picked up from Cliff the Toilet Roll salesman on Urmston Market, Prestwich Library in the Biographies and Memoirs section (This is not made up!!!), from under the fake plastic monitor on a Tovik desk at the new Ikea in Ashton Under Lyne, anywhere in Burnage we can find where it won't get nicked and Borders.

MB will be conducting book signings on the 7:24 Altrincham to Bury Tram, which is a "Double Unit" during the first week of release. He normally sits right behind the driver so he can pretend he's driving.

Notes to the Editor
1. MB scored an A* in his English Language exam, which his Mum wanted re-marking because she didn't think he could spell or knew anything about grammar.
2. There are many other desks available from IKEA and one is called Jerka.
3. MB now joins a long list of people who have been made famous through blogging before being published by the mainstream media. These include Tom Reynolds, Abby Lee, Mil Millington, David Copperfield and Boris Johnson.
4. Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe is on BBC Four every Thursday starting at 22:30.