"He's thrown piss at me. I'm drenched in piss. This is piss. Smell this - this smells like piss..." my friend's Husband says and continues ad nauseum.

The throwing of the unidentified liquid was pretty spectacular. Not only was it done from a moving vehicle by someone who seemed to have had a skinful but it perfectly singled him out. There was not a drop on any of the surrounding ensemble. This is a shame because if his aim was a bit off to one side, we could have had a spectacular wet t-shirt contest.

We take refuge in a local drinking establishment. "He definitely said 'I'm covering you in piss!'" he insists as he goes off to the toilets and begins to scrub his clothes and face in a Lady MacBeth type of way.

He returns to the table to find us selfishly trying to enjoy ourselves. He sits down with an angry face on and takes a sip of his Bacardi Breezer. Immediately he stands up and bolts out the door, screaming "That's them! That's their car!"

He runs out of the pub and heads off down the street. I offer to go after him but his wife insists that if he gets a good kicking it'll be good for him. He returns intact. "I felt like just giving the three of them a beating anyway because they were all <>". He sits back down. Immediately he stands up and bolts out the door, screaming "That's them! That's their car!"

This continues until My Canadian Girlfriend and I exit stage left, not chased by a bear but laughing hysterically. We return to her house.

Ten minutes pass and we have just about calmed down.

"Is this piss?" I shout to my Canadian Girlfriend after I have finished my business in her toilet.

I can see this joke running and running.

I come out of the toilet and she throws half a glass of water at me.

"I'm covering you in piss" she says.

This is no longer funny.