It's half an hour later than it normally is at this time of the morning. I had a bit of a late night doing trivial but important things, like wrapping presents. And I went to the gym yesterday, even though I'm not feeling 100% (Bright yellow snot on blue tissues is a sight). I have a headache and am feeling very lethargic. I had no milk so no bran flakes and no tea. I don't want to go to work and face an important meeting. My iPod is as sluggish as I am, choosing only depressing songs. I sleepwalk to the tram and only just get on. I am jammed in by the doors.

I am feeling so bad, I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

We get to Trafford Bar and someone wants to get off. "Can you all move so I get off!!!" she screams in a polite Christmas-y way. I step back and let the impatient person get off the tram. I put my right foot onto the tram and move my left leg towards it. This is called walking for those of you unfamiliar with it. And then my wish comes true.

My left foot misses the tram and slips between the tram and the platform. My left leg careers down towards the black emptiness betwix one and the other. The abyss threatens to swallow me up until I do some quick thinking and grab hold of the bar on the tram. This causes Big Jim and the Twins to slam into the tram.

"OH MY GOD!!!!! Are you hurt? Have you hurt anything?" asks one of my fellow passengers as I pull myself back up and get onto the tram.

"I'm ok, nothing hurt but my pride and I'd still have that if no one had seen me" I reply.

I step onto the tram again and make a new year's resolution to mind the gap.