"Can you pass me a towel?" I ask my Canadian Girlfriend, in a bedraggled, soaked to the bone, getting out of the shower way.

"Sure can where are they, eh?"

"Did you not bring any?" I asked loadedly, knowing full well that I should've remembered them.

There's an awkward silence while the penny drops, along with several gallons of water from my body. We have no towels and will have to put up with this all weekend. The cottage we are in is one that my family have been visiting for many years and, although it doesn't come with towels, is actually well furnished. It wasn't until about 1990 that they started to provide bedding and the TV, although it is from the 30s, didn't appear until a few years into the 21st century. If I had a mobile signal, I'd text my parents, who are coming up to the cottage on Sunday to spend the week there, to remind them to bring towels.

"Well I guess we'll have to dry ourselves using the duvet covers." she replies showing her ingenuity.

"And that will give us the perfect excuse to explain to my Parents why we've had to wash the bedding despite only having been here two days."

Although I try to look on the bright side of everything, I am quite upset. I momentarily consider joining Morrissey, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills in boycotting all things Canadian. Not only because I am saddened at having to dry myself with a duvet cover but also because of the Seal clubbing. I mean Kiss from a Rose wasn't that bad, was it? However, in my current situation, it would be very difficult to give up Canada - I am half way through the first series of the excellent Canadian Comedy Corner Gas.

What I don't get is that these multi millionaires, who are obviously our moral and intellectual superiors because of their wealth, don't use some of that vast fortunes to pay the inhabitants of Newfoundland and Labrador to not kill seals. After all, the poor Inuits probably earn in a year what Morrissey made in royalties while he was eating breakfast. And when you put it like that, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills don't have a leg to stand on.