I am a law abiding subject. I believe that if something is a law then it there to protect me and I should revere that. I have a respect for the law (apart from music copyright). Actually, to be more concise I don't have respect for the law, but rather I have a fear of prison, even though Ronnie Barker in Porridge, Pele in Escape to Victory, Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption and Michael Clarke Duncan in Green Mile have shown that prison can be a fun place.

Ok, so I'll drill down even further, I don't have a fear of prison per se. I actually have a fear of being taken up the wrong'un by a large man with tattoos all over his body, who insists on stroking my hair and calling me Abigail. Now, that may sound paranoid, and slightly homophobic, but its kept me on the straight and narrow.

It even kept me form stealing a tram today. I was sitting at the very front of the tram when they changed drivers. The first driver, who looked resplendent in a "lovable rogue Lovejoy" like mullett, got off and left the door to the cab slightly ajar. Being a tram geek, I was itching to sneak into the driver's chair. I'd press the little black button, to close the doors, and push the little lever forward and away we'd go. Zooom!

It'd be easy. I could get away with that, bit of TDA never hurt anyone. I'd go to exotic sounding places like Pomona, Navigation Road, Mosley Street (only if traveling South) and Besses o'th' Barn. Of course, I may be stealing a tram but I wouldn't want to give away my identity to the Police, so I'd still stop and pick up passengers and remember to announce what the next stop was.

But in the end, I'd have to give myself up. I mean where would I actually take the tram? When I'm done with it, its not like I can take it round to a garage and have it broken down for spare parts, is it? Or is it?