A time comes in a man's life where he has to face down his fears and stare them in the eye and say "Enough is enough. You will no longer have a hold over me and I refuse to be afraid of you." I bare down on my nemesis. My eyes are locked on it. My heart beat quickens and palms moisten. I know this is illogical but I have fear running through my veins.

I am having to use the third treadmill from the left hand wall of the gym. We have a chequered history. It has tried to throw me off twice. After the second time, I vowed never to use it again. But this time, it is the only treadmill available.

The first time, it decided that every minute it would lower its speed without telling me. Anyone who has run on a treadmill will know that this can throw you off - a lot. The second time, the treadmill decided to position itself the furthest possible distance from the TV that is showing the Simpsons. It was a good episode, the Monorail one. So I strained my neck to see it, and the treadmill moved and before I knew it I had hit the side of it and was stumbling. I managed to regain balance but not before I had every gym instructor running over to admonish the treadmill.

As I place my towel over the top and my water bottle down the side. I stare it down. I start trash talking to it, "You don't scare me, I'm da big dog in this gym. I knew ya momma, she was so fat, her blood type was gravy. She was so stoopid she could trip over a cordless phone" Everyone in the gym looks over and sees how serious I am.

All goes well. I start thinking that maybe I have mis-judged this treadmill. And then it strikes. After 4.97km of the 5km I was running, it decided to wobble under me and my foot nearly hit the side.

But I regained my balance in a second. "Is that the best you've got?" I shouted. "You're pathetic!"

MB 1 Treadmill 0