One of the things that always worries me is that we can send electronic mail to the other side of the world at the blink of an eye, we can keep a 1,000,000 tonne aircraft in the air, I can command instant respect and deference because I let you little people into my life and we can cook up a Rustler's Chilli Burger in 10 seconds.

So why can't we cure hay fever?

I have a cure. Stop mowing lawns in the summer.

I don't seem to be affected by the sneezing as much during the winter. If you put a ban on mowing lawns between say May and September then I would be much better off.

Unless of course you're using a ride along lawn mower. Coz they're just funny.