Being a meterosexual version of Reuters I feel I have a duty to my readers to keep them up to date with everything that is going on in my life. Although inevitably, I can't tell you everything that has happened for three reasons:

• Sometimes more interesting things happen on that day
• Sometimes I can't find the right words to do the story justice
• Sometimes the stories just plain suck

The last time I got half way through writing one of these stories, about a horse like creature that had kicked the bucket, I had a very interesting Bowel Movement so I stopped the presses and we ran with a different story. To coin a phrase, I dropped the dead donkey.

So with the official celebrations of my first anniversary about to kick off, I thought I would delve into my rainy day folder and tell you some of the stories that haven't made it into the blog. (It's not an actual folder - it's a text file on my desktop at work called "Not a secret file of ideas for blogging.txt")

• I have spent a huge amount of time trying to figure out how I can go from being on nodding terms with a cool guy at our gym to being best buddies. All I need is an "in".
There was the time I got locked in the basement of a warehouse with another guy and the only way I could escape was to cut off my foot with a nail file.
• When I did recycling once, I had some cardboard and some plastic bottles and the two places I know that recycle them are about 15 miles apart so I ended up with a 30 mile round trip in an attempt to do my bit for the Henvironment.
• The girl who feinted on the tram.
• I sent some clothes to Oxfam and thought I had left my glasses in the pocket of one of the pairs of jeans.
• I have resisted telling you anything about the "hot monkey love" me and My Canadian Girlfriend get up to - mainly because I do not think that Sex and the Internet mix (and also because my Parents may be reading this).
• How I watch every plane that flies across the sky because having watched "America's Wackiest Airplane Explosions" on Bravo +1, I know that being able to describe how the plane explodes is central to determining if it was a shoe-bomber or just some aircraft guy who forgot to put the widget in the dongle because he was too drunk or stupid - or both.

In fact ignore the last one. I may still use that one if I ever get really desperate.