I am still quite shaken up about my intruder.

If it was a Friday night or a Saturday night then you may be able to put it down to drink, drugs or a heady cocktail of both. But who goes out till 5AM on a Monday Morning? I wish I'd have got up and challenged him. Even just so I could've got it clear in my mind why he was in my flat and where he was actually meant to be (There are at least two chav women living two floors above me, he could've been visiting them - I think these are the sort of women that would have late night and early morning visitors). But I was sleeping naked.

I mentioned it to My Mate Matt, who is a serial worrier. Although he's doing well now, he only frets from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep. I relayed the story to him and he paniced more than a tram full of commuters when I stand up and shout "Allahu Akbar". "It was probably someone casing the joint," he says hitting the red button, instigating full panic mode and showing a good grasp of street lingo, "He'll probably be back tonight and kill you in your sleep". I am actually quite calm about this. Unusually calm.

There are still a lot of unanswered questions. How did I manage to find the bedside lamp so easily and turn it on without thinking? Why is my abiding memory of the incident, the feeling of my cold naked testicles banging against my leg? Why, after it had happened, did I get up and calmly walk to my PC in the other room to see if the new episode of Lost had downloaded? If you walked into someone's flat by mistake, even if you were drunk, wouldn't you be really appologetic? How come I am still going to leave the door unlocked?

In fact there are so many things that don't add up, I have come to the conclusion that I dreamt it.

Hmmm, I did have those Cheese flavoured goldfish crackers before bed.
And Cheese is well known for causing nightmares.