"If these clippers are going to cost £20 and a haircut costs £10 then I'll need to get at least two cuts out of them." I think. "But if I really cock up the cut then I'll have to go to a professional AND I'll be so ashamed I'll never use the again. They'll be as useless to me as Shaun Wright-Phillips is to Chelsea."

I smirk to myself at making such an intelligent pop-culture reference.

I am still unsure. I don't like wasting money but I do want my hair looking good for the "Manchester Blogger's Meet". I search for inspiration. I take a small piece of paper out of my pocket with the words MB's Action Plan and read from it. "Deliverable: Buy Clippers to save time and money on haircuts. Timeline: Before January Sales end. Resources: £20." The next one is "Write Book", I decide that buying clippers will be more of an "Easy Win".

Once I finally make up my mind on something, there is nothing that will get in my way. I set off to the till, armed with My Canadian Friend's Boots Advantage Card. "She just started bleeding and I hate blood. Can you deal with it?" said a shop assistant to her manager. I am not even derailed by the possibility of a much moamusinging story taking place in this store. I dodge in and out of the tight bastard shoppers who are buying next years Christmas presents in the sales and head to the checkout.

I get them home just in time for me to sit down and listen to the football - wasn't it great how the part timers of Manchester United humbled the mighty Burton Albion and hung on for long enough to bravely secure a replay?

At half time I get my new clippers out and begin. I get a quick buzz. I finish and put the clippers neatly back in their box. I get them out again because I have missed a spot. I put them away again; less neatly this time. At full time, I get my kitchen scissors to trim one extra long clump I missed. I awake the next morning and get the scissors out again when I find another spot I missed.

Since my hair cutting skills seem to be similar to my decorating skills, I imagine I'll be doing this for a while.