Dear Aunt and Uncle,

Thank you so much for your wonderful Christmas Presents. It was so thoughtful of you to get me what you did. The one thing I always love about your presents is how thoughtful you are about them. I really cannot believe that you had these presents since the summer. The wooden plate and wooden chopping board are brilliant.

I know it said on the label that I could eat anything from the plate "from toast to a curry, just like they did in the Middle ages". However, they also died of dysentery and the plague, neither of which I intend to do. I'm sure I'll just have to work up to it! Joking aside, I always love the way you buy such personal presents. I can't believe you've had these ever since June when I remarked about how I couldn't "get wood".

Have a Good New Year,
MB

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Dear Mum and Dad,

What a Christmas, eh? Firstly, thanks for the wonderful gifts. I can't believe you got me the exact same DAB radio I showed you when you asked me "What do you want for Christmas?" As for the Tom Tom Navigator, it would have been good, especially given the number of times I get lost driving between my Flat and your House through a neighbourhood I've grown up in. But, Mum, I understand why you made Dad return them, it was very expensive - especially for all 5 of us.

(Dad, if you still want to buy me one, I'll have it but won't tell any of the others - including Mum! And I told you you should've got a DVD recorder, they're cheaper and more practical and she wouldn't have made you return them)

The Trafford Centre Gift Card was a nice surprise too. I have no idea what I'm going to spend it on - probably a Sat Nav system.

MB

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Dear Little Sister,

You know how I hate to write these so I'll keep this short ;) The midget you bought me is wonderful. It's not as good as a real dwarf but I realise that they were really in demand this year like the Roboraptor or a PSP and I'm not surprised you couldn't get one. But Doc is very happy to have a friend and also slightly intimidated given that Bashful is twice his size. Can you have a giant Dwarf?

The other stuff was nice too,
MB & Doc

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Dear Big Sister,

Thanks for the Star Wars Episode III DVD, I'm sure it'll make someone out there very happy when, after I've watched it once, I shove it on eBay.

May the force be with you,
MB

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Dear Matt,

Wow, thanks loads for the Pilates / Yoga Mat. It was such a wonderful surprise. It was so thoughtful and personal. I feel sorry now for telling everyone about how crap your gifts usually are.

Now I wish I had put a bit more thought into your gift.

MB

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Dear Work,

Thank you so much for the Blackberry device you bought me before Christmas. It seems wholly pointless as I sit at my desk all day anyway. So that would mean that you have purchased it for me so you can contact me when I am either on the toilet or at home. While I would be more than happy to answer calls and emails on the toilet, the straining noises may well put people off.

MB