I trust you. I really do. I trust you by telling you every infinitesimally small detail of my life. In fact I trust everybody. Apart from when it comes to driving my car - that goes without saying. I have no reason not to trust people. No one has ever done me wrong. And for that reason, when I am in the house, I leave the front door open.

I am having a strange but relatively normal dream. I am discussing life with my friend Carl. In this dream, his dad is looking to generate some extra work (he is a town planner), so I suggest that he goes around and knocks on doors. And then I wake to hear my burglar alarm beeping. Someone had opened my front door and is walking into my flat. I grab the light by the side of the bed, turn it on and point it towards the door. I wait and I think, who could this be?

Could it be My Canadian Friend who has come over after being scared by the shadow monsters?
Could it be Sign Guy who has finally found out that it was me who parked in his designated parking spot for 25 minutes on Friday?
Could it be Doc, my stuffed Midget Miner, coming back from a night on the tiles with Gustav?
Could it be Evangeline Lilly and Maggie Grace come over for another one of their midnight visits?
Could it be a spurned lover come back to exact revenge on me using a pair of pliers and a blow torch?

Or could I just be being robbed? It is amazing what an active imagination can do in three seconds. I feel really sorry for kids today whose entire lives consist of sitting in front of ISS Grand Theft Halo on their PlayBox, eating Pringles and drinking Tango. They should get out more, exercise their mind and use their imagination.

And so into the light staggers a white shirted man. "Ooops sorry, wrong flat." he said as he turned and left.

Obviously, I am quite shaken up by this but as I lay there worried, I think about what a fair and measured response would be. I do not want to lock my door. If I do; THEY win. The final bastion of my civil utopia is eroded and another step is taken towards Mrs Thatcher's "There's no such thing as society". I become just another person living in fear of my neighbour, waiting with a machete for him to look at me funny so I can slice him up.

Or am I just a gullible fool?