I am up and getting ready for work.

I put last night's Manchester Evening News on the recycle pile, it is still open at the Sudoku page. It is half complete. You will be pleased to learn that I have actually learnt how to do Sudoku (with a little help from My Canadian Girlfriend and a book called "Sudoku for 2 year olds"). I notice that the MEN one is very small and there's hardly any room for the pencil marks. I chuckle to myself about how I now know all the sudoku lingo!

My Canadian Girlfriend is back from her trip and I am going to see her after work, so I need to take a change of clothes with me. I pick up my clothes from the neat pile they were thrown into on the floor. I give my trousers a quick shake to see if both of my socks are still in there.

And a spider falls to the floor!!!

There was a spider in my clothes!!!

I hate spiders!!!

Once upon a time, I heard that on average you eat about (insert number) spiders per (insert time period) while you're asleep. Even if the true figure is only one per life-time - then that is one too many. Ever since I was told that, I have slept with one of those little barbecue sauce tubs from KFC on either side of my pillow. If I am going to eat a spider, then I sure as hell want it to taste as nice as possible. I considered getting a deep fat fryer but that would just be silly.

I watch as the little eight legged cretin scuttles towards the skirting board.

There was a spider in my clothes!!!

It could've laid it's eggs inside my trousers. They could hatch and catch me unaware when I'm watching the Simpsons. They'd crawl under my skin and possess me and turn me into some sort of Man-Spider. And knowing my luck I wouldn't get any of the cool side effects like being able to spin a web for flying through cities, have a special sense which tingles and be able to pull Kirsten Dunst. I'd end up with all the bad characteristics - like having 8 legs, eating flys and being eaten by mate after intercourse. And I'd be forced to travel the world with a crap circus that included the world's tallest midget, Mysterio the Mind Reader who can answer any Yes / No question correctly on average 50% of the time and David Blaine.

There was a spider in my clothes!!!

Apparently, I found out later, having a spider in your clothes is supposed to be good luck.

But obviously not for this particular spider since the last thing it saw before burning in spider hell was the bottom of my Size 11 "Work Shoe".