I go to collect a package!!!

I am awaiting two packages. One contains super secret things which are already too late for my Canadian Girlfriend’s Birthday and the other is a book which she has ordered from the USA which, since she has had problems with mail going missing, is coming to my house.

This is not the first package I have received this week either! The previous package, which I had mistaken for one of the packages I was expecting, contained my free gift for buying my Canadian Girlfriend a super secret subscription to a super secret magazine. I am half tempted to try and “get visibly longer legs” by using the tanning solution contained within the envelope but my fear of coming out like the tango man is too great.

Oh what fun it is to park up outside the post office and not know what to expect when the man hands you the envelope. I inspect the package and not wanting to give anything away to the watching postie, I retreat to the car to open the envelope. The excitement is intensified by the strong aroma of coffee permeating through the morning air.

I rip off the top of the envelope and locate the source of the strong coffee smell. It seems because I am a regular user of my Starbucks card and have been using it for x number of months and / or have spent more than £x on it and / or have managed not to have sex in their toilets for x days, I have been sent a gift of some coffee beans which will be ground to my liking by my local Starbucks.

What a surprise!!!

But this is simply a marketing ploy so that I will tell my friends about how great Starbucks are and what a good company they are and how they send such cool free gifts. They may even have sent it to me knowing that I would write about it in my weblog. Well as much as I like this promotion, I cannot be bought. I will not fall for such a cynical marketing ploy.

Hang on! Where are my parcels?