You wouldn't have thought that one hundred and something characters would have been enough space to generate comedy - but you'd be wrong. While thumbing through my sent items on my phone, I found the following that I thought I should share with you.

Sent to My Canadian Girlfriend
Dog? You've got to ask your bro to get an autograph. He's like my second favourite bounty hunter.
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Boba Fett of course!
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No seriously. Get an autograph. My sister loves him plus I don't believe he can sign his own name.

Sent to My Little Sister
Steriods? Does this mean that your dream of appearing in the Olympics is over?
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So you'll be fat, unemployed and living in Hull? Next stop Trisha.
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You'll be safe, just don't put your hair in a pony tail on the side of your head.

Set to My Canadian Girlfriend
That bit of chicken stuck between my teeth has gone. Although I think it's been replaced by a bit of toothpick.

Sent to My Mate Matt
Just what you want to hear when you get into the car - "And for the final period of this game, I hand you over to Alan Green"

Sent to My Canadian Girlfriend
Have you seen that Five are running a show about what the Famous Five did after they grew up?
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I know it was my idea! I just wish I'd sent it to myself in a recorded delviery envelope when I first thought of it.

Sent to My Dad
I've managed to fix the zapper that opens the gate to the car park at my flats.
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Yeah I put them shelves up and fixed something electrical without help - I feel like a proper man now.
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It's stopped working. Can I drop it round for you to have a look at?

Sent to My Mum
Can you ring me when you get this message. It's 10:30 now. On Tuesday. The 11th. Of September. 2007.