I have heard that there are some African countries who can go days or even weeks without rain. Many primative cultures still believe in performing rain dances to bring on the rain. These dances can be found in many cultures, from Ancient Egyptians to certain Native American tribes and can still be found today in some areas of the Balkans.

We in the UK have got a strange rain dance custom. We send 15 men dressed in white into a field and ask them to stand around and do very little for about 6 hours. This act is absolutely guaranteed to bring rain to even the most arrid landscape. We call this 'playing cricket'.

There are several other acts that members of the public can undertake themselves to help moisten the ground. In our family we usually have a huge meal which involves eating carbon-ised beefburgers and under-cooked chicken. We call this a 'rain feast' or BBQ.

I think I am a very powerful person with a one way line to Buddah / Jesus / Allah / Wayne Rooney *. Because all I have to do is think "I'm going to wash the car" and then the heavens open.

The nice people in the government also designate special days each year where it is guaranteed to rain. They are called Bank Holidays.

Of course, if you spend a bank holiday weekend watching cricket, washing the car and preparing for a BBQ then you may as well just give up.

(* delete as appropriate)