My Canadian Girlfriend has gone home to Canada for a week. She claims it's to see her family and visit her newly born nephew. I think it's because she wants to see some of the new series of My Name is Earl before I do. So with the Ball and Chain gone, I am able to relax and do things that normally I would not be able to:

• Overschedule my time - on Saturday, I went to the gym, the supermarket, Starbucks, the football and the cinema. My Canadian Girlfriend has a tendency to sit me down in front of the telly and make me relax.
• Obtain two small cuts of unknown origin on my forehead without it turning into an international incident involving sticking plasters and cross examination of anyone who has been within 10 feet of me.
• Do a sudoku without having helpful numbers shouted at me and not complete the Manchester Evening News crossword by myself rather than not complete it with someone's help.
• Be able to sit and enjoy a coffee without feeling the constant pressure to criticise every outfit every person has on either sitting in the store or walking by the window.
• Have some covers when sleeping. Anyone who says women are the weaker sex hasn't tried to wrestle the covers off them in the middle of the night. She'd give Hulk Hogan a run for his money.
• Surf Porn in peace. There's nothing more distracting than having her standing over my shoulder saying stuff like "Oh those are so fake!" and "Those shoes are hiddeous"
• Eat lots and lots of plums. Since not only am I Canadian-Girlfriend-less this week but I am also in an empty office all week, so the undesirable effect they have on my bowles will go un-noticed.
• Rent some proper DVDs like "something with Her from Friends in, you know who - the skinny one" from Amazon rather than the girly comedies like Bullet Boy, Battle Royale and City of God, she has me watching.
• Clean the Bathroom, do the Washing Up and Iron. Yeah thanks a lot for giving me the time to do that one.