"This wouldn't have happened if your Dad had been allowed to buy you that Sat Nav would it?" My Canadian Girlfriend asks as we sit in the car on a hilly back street in the centre of Oldham, which has been race riot free for five days. I have driven with my Dad while he has the Sat Nav on and since he, like 99.9% car owners, is an above average driver the Sat Nav is pretty useless. Especially since he always knows where everything is and what the quickest route to get there is all while the female voice is pleading with him to turn the car around at the next possible opportunity.

A woman walks by in a pink furry Ten Gallon Hat, a denim skirt and Cowboy boots. We look for the Rodeo on the map.

"Why don't we just park up and have a walk around and see if we can get our bearings better?" she says turning the map a full 360 degrees looking for clues.

"There it is" I say spotting the restaurant immediately. In making a series of random turns dictated by the one way system and having a "feeling" about them meant that not only have we turned up next to the restaurant but also on the right side of it for the car park.

We are fashionably early and are the first people there (Technically we are not the first people there as there are many other people in the restaurant and double technically, we're not even the first people of our group to get there - I've just never met the people that beat us here.)

We sit down looking forward to a fun, enjoyable and light hearted night out.

"While we've got a minute, maybe we can have a chat about when you're gonna come over to meet my Parents?" My Canadian Girlfriend says. I mumble something incoherent. Then the Birthday Girl (or Birthday Sheila as she is Australian) shows up. The rest of the night passes off without incident apart from finding out that the girl sitting opposite us is wearing a nicotine patch on her left breast.