I roll over and look at the alarm clock. "I wonder what time it is?" I think. The loud beeping noise my alarm clock was making should've been a dead give-away. I punch the snooze button and snuggle in bed. I listen to the sound of urban foxes scratching around the metal bins trying to find some garlic bread to go with their left over pizza. After one snooze, I spring to my feet and fling back the curtains.

Good Morning Mr Cat!
Good Morning Mr Landscaped Communal Area looked after by the caretaker!
Good Morning Mr 16 foot tall Wayne Rooney!
Good Morning Mr Snow and Frost which are making driving conditions hazardous!

(I should point out that Mrs Rooney's little boy had not been feeding on some form of radioactive steroids and was attacking Manchester like Godzilla. It is simply a reference to the giant billboard he adorns which I can see from my bedroom.)

After a bowl of branflakes and a listen to the cricket, I wrap up warm and brave the cold. I walk out to see one of my neighbours scraping the ice off his car. I smile conceitedly to myself. This is one of the reasons I get the tram. When I used to drive every day, it would send me round the bend having already done a days work before I'd even put the key in the ignition. As he scrapes and scrapes and sprays his semi frozen defroster spray on to the windscreen, I walk off to the tram with a song in my heart and also my headphones.

As I reach the tram stop, the smugness disappears. There is an announcement - "Due to the wrong kind of tram on the track, the service has been suspended. Oh and by the way - sorry." I wait. I wait some more. The fragrant smell of the weed being smoked, by the builders on the platform, wafts across the crisp morning air. After twenty minutes, no tram had arrived. The platform is now crowded. I do not think I'll get on the first tram, even if it was empty. Which it won't be - it'll be crowded. In fact I'll be lucky to get on the fourth or fifth tram to arrive. And that won't be for nearly 45 minutes.

I retreat to flat, pull out my blockbuster video card - which doubles as an ice scraper - and begin taking the ice off my windscreen.

The irony is not lost on me.