"Have you remembered to hide the handcuffs?" I receive a text from My Canadian Girlfriend reminding me that I have to put them in a drawer. I am glad she is so on-the-ball otherwise I would have forgotten and left them on the bed. I am having new wardrobes installed today to replace the £9.99 Argos clothes rails which kept collapsing at increasingly regular intervals.

Because of this, I am "working" from home. Normally when someone "works" from home, everybody assumes that they are "working" from home. However, I am quite busy and am actually working from home today.

That said, I decide to take advantage of being at home and have a bit of fun while I'm working. I start "The Butterfly Effect" DVD in the top left of the screen. 15 minutes into the film and I realise it would've been more fun to line my underpants with Homebase own-brand medium grain sand-paper.

My wardrobes have arrived!!! I get a call from the delivery man who is at the gate, I go to window and buzz him in. It's about now that I notice that there is a book on the coffee table. I pick it up. I need to hide it fast. The van is approaching the door and I have to go and meet them. The little gollum-like creature that is helping install my wardrobes gets out of the van.

I open my door and walk towards the communal door. I am about to wave to them with my left hand when I notice that I still have a book in it. I dart back into the flat and begin to panic. Where can I hide it? I fly into the kitchen and start opening cupboards. I remember that I have to buy some sultanas next time I'm in Sainsburys.

My door bell rings. I go to leave the kitchen only to notice that I still have a book in my hand. I manage to find a space for it between the rice and the pasta, but I get the feeling it doesn't really belong there.

I open another cupboard and place the Karma Sutra on the Spice shelf. Hmm, that fits perfectly. I walk away with a smug grin on my face.