I am driving to work. I do not like driving to work, I prefer getting the tram as funnier things tend to happen on the tram. But I stayed up late last night watching the Superbowl. I know, I know. But I enjoy it. It's like ballet. Big fat ballet. Watching eleven perfectly choreographed 18 stone guys running into another eleven 18 stone guys is poetic. It doesn't quite match the grace of the Beautiful Game but I like it. Anyway, despite falling asleep in the 2,543rd advert break, I decide to have a bit of a lie in. Hence the need to drive.

I am flying up the "Busy Road" which isn't that busy for this time of morning. I approach a light on amber. My old driving instructor Chaz, the balding man with a pony tail who played electric guitar, always said - "When approaching a light, make a decision and stick to it". I decide to go through it. He also said - "I'm not putting you in for your test because I think you need a couple more months practice. Oh and by the way, I'm saving up for a new computer."

A couple of lights later, I pull up safely at a red light. And then I notice some blue lights in my mirrors. I have absolute total respect for the work that the fire and ambulance people do so I pull out of the way. It is a police car. Grudgingly, I move to the right giving him a good lane and a half to get through.

He undertakes me and I carry on.

He slows down and begins to gesticulate at me. "Oh my God!" I think, "did he see me jump that light." Still he points at me. It looks like he wants me to move over to the right but I'm on a dual carriage way with a bloody big barrier in the middle of it.

He waves some more. How does he expect me to understand what he wants me to do. It's a Monday morning. I don't get going until at least Wednesday afternoon and then it's time to wind down for the weekend.

And then I look in my mirrors again and notice another three police cars and a big prison van. Prisoner transfer!!!!

I decide that it is probably not worth arguing with the policeman, now. So I pull over and let it past.