I have lost my umbrella!!! I am so upset. I am more upset than the time I flew half way across the galaxy to rescue a princess only to be told I looked too small to be a Stormtrooper.

I feel like I have lost a family member. I grew up with this umbrella. It was there when I sat waiting for the rain to stop during the infamous Lancashire vs Yorkshire cricket semi final, while preparing for my Geography GCSE. It worked brilliantly as a goal post when we didn't have enough jumpers (That was when it gained the kink. And it was years until Jim H admitted he was aiming for the umbrella and not the goal). It went under the boardwalk when, on a dark, grey, stormy New Year's Day, my dad decided to take the family to Llandudno.

I went back to Starbucks, the last place I remember having it, and ask the barrista if she has seen it. She has very broad shoulders and messy hair. She walks like my friend Clare, who in turn walks like a truck driver. She strides off in search of my umbrella and a full English breakfast with a sweet tea.

"Is it a blue and black one?" she asks.
"No, it's red and white....". I look out and notice the rain beginning to pour down. "I mean... h-yeeesss blue and black. That's the one."
"Really?"
"No."

And now the grief sets in. I will never see my umbrella again. I wish I had spent more time with it. There was a period where we fell out. I was under the very false impression that it was too girly to carry an umbrella, so it stayed in the boot of the car. I am sitting on the Tram wiping the tears away, when I notice a Copper is stood by the door. He is holding his hat in his left hand and with the rain pouring down, I need to cover my hair. I could grab that hat and be off the tram before he even knew what hit him.

Oh, its a flat one. There's no point nicking it unless its one of the tall pointy ones.