Only in Britain would we choose to celebrate someone's incompetence and inability to get the job done.

Over the years we have celebrated the fact that a man tried really hard and nearly succeeded in his job but narrowly failed. What a truly British thing to do. "Jolly good show old bean. You really did give it your damnedest shot but in the end you just didn't finish the job off." Maybe we should get a "Tim Henman day". It would be an annual occurrence to coincide with Wimbledon Quarter Final's day.

The MC is trying to keep the crowd warm - a task made harder by the Manchester weather. "Every time I say Fireworks, I want you to cheer! And every time I say Guy Fawks, I want you to boo!" he said.

"The fireworks are about to begin! (loud cheer)... Before they start I've been handed a notice from our Safety Officer. If you have brought your own sparklers or fireworks... (loud cheer)... please take them home with you and do not use them here. On behalf of the organisers and the fire brigade, we'd like to thank you for adhering to this notice and hope you all enjoy tonight's Guy Fawks celebrations... (loud boo!)"

The fireworks begin.

Fis! Fis! Fis! Fis! Fis!
The little white fireworks dance across the night sky weaving and dodging like larger than life sperm.

Whisssssss! Bang Bang Bang!
They soar to the sky, nearly touch the stars, look attractive, draw lots of attention to themselves and then they explode and disappear from sight.

I stand and think about X-Factor's Steve Brookstein. I wonder what he is doing now.