It's the coldest day of the year so far - I know this because I had to give a Brass Monkey directions to a welders - and my legs are aching from football. I wake up feeling lethargic.

And then my heater, today of all days, decides that instead of running a normal weekday program of putting the heating and hot water on at 05:45, it's going to pretend that it's Saturday.

This is double-y cruel because, not only was it very cold, but it rubbed my nose in it by reminding me, while standing shivering, that I have to go to work today.

If you know why it would do that then press the red button now but make sure you have the bill payers permission.