I am stuck in a traffic jam twelve miles from Leeds!!!

I have borrowed my Dad's TomTom for the day as I need to find my way to a secret place for a secret meeting about secret things. The more I think about it the more I'm sure he only bought TomTom so that he'd have someone to talk to in the car. And more importantly it doesn't get bored of his stories or answer back:

"And then Great Uncle Peter moved to London, Ontario and lived above a shop on Dundas Street…."
"Turn left in 300 yards"

"Because he was the only Liberal on a hung Council of 9 Conservatives and 9 Labour, he didn’t have to buy a drink all year…"
"Turn around when possible!!!"

I am sitting in a traffic jam crawling towards Leeds. The traffic is not moving at all and I am already going to be a bit late. I make some mental calculations (Our North American readers should note this is the same as "doing the math" but it sounds better). TomTom says I have 45 minutes to go and I will arrive at 11:22, it is currently 8:12. So the clock is 2 hours and 25 minutes wrong and I will be getting there three minutes before the meeting starts. This is not very heartening.

After another five minutes of barely moving, I decide to switch lanes. If my life was a badly written sitcom the other lane of traffic would suddenly start moving until I switched back again. It doesn't. I curse my luck for not living in "My Family".

Neither lane moves for what seems an eternity. But when it does, we have 2 minutes of constant motion. I perform a computation to see if my situation has improved (same explanation as before). The situation has now got worse. TomTom is now calculating my arrival time a calendar rather than a clock.